Worthy of Love

Today’s essay is about something I struggle a lot with. Perfection. Not because I’m not perfect (although that is most certainly true), but because I try too hard to be. I beat myself up over little things. It makes life difficult sometimes. We’re commanded to be perfect, right? To follow every command with exactness? Yet I seem to have such a difficult time with that.

But lately I’ve discovered a different way of looking at things. It stems partially from Brad Wilcox’s talk “His Grace is Sufficient” (which I highly recommend reading), partially from my experiences with meditation, and partially from specific trials that I have been going through lately. My new perspective is this: According to what we learn in the Plan of Salvation, we live on a fallen world. I tend to think of it as broken. And since we live on a broken world, it makes sense that we are a broken people. But that doesn’t mean that we don’t have worth. You do not have to be perfect to be loved. That is not love at all. Love is, by nature, unconditional. It’s seeing someone for who they really are – the good and the bad – and still wanting the best for them. Think of the scriptures in Moroni 7:45 and in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. That is how the Savior loves us. He is patient, he is kind, he is long-suffering, and he is the only one who has the power to not only heal us completely, but to make us stronger as he does so. His Atonement doesn’t just mean that we will be forgiven of our sins; it means that we can overcome our sins and our weaknesses and our character flaws and be healed from our sicknesses and physical ailments. In other words, it means that we can be made whole.

So I’ve been starting to see more clearly who I really am. I am a daughter of God, and perfection is not a matter of being punished for every little mistake, but rather a matter of becoming whole. So those little things I do wrong don’t matter as much as who I am becoming. And if I’m reading my scriptures and praying – earnestly seeking God’s will in my life – and looking for ways to serve others, then I will automatically grow into my potential – even if I mess up every single day. Which I do, and I will, but as time goes on gradually I will mess up less and less. I already mess up less than I did a year ago. By this I can see that God has been guiding my life, placing me in situations where I can learn and grow – both situations where I am stretched more than I thought possible, and situations where people are put in my path who lift me up and teach me and, most of all, love me enough that just talking to them brings me comfort.

And God loves me and will help me get to where I need to be. He blesses me even when I don’t ask him for blessings, and even more so when I do. Really people, God loves you so so much. I have felt that love for me during some of my darkest moments. It is what keeps me going when life gets to be more than I can bear. And he loves everyone that much. He loves you. Christ loves you enough to have suffered and atoned for everything that makes you less than whole; everything that leaves you broken – sin, weakness, heartache. He can heal you. “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).

Welcome to my blog!

In order to get myself to actually spend time writing, I told myself that I couldn’t work on homework until I had written for thirty minutes. So, in order to get anything productive done today, I have to first have fun. Man, I like this system.

Anyway. So this is my blog. It’s not about my life, though. Well, it is about my life, but not in a “I just got a dog!” sort of a way. More in a “This is what I’ve been learning about life and myself, and this is why it matters to you” sort of way. So probably this will turn into a collection of essays (and possibly a few poems, if you promise not to critique them too harshly), and hopefully they’ll be good because I am an English major. And hopefully they get better as time goes on because that is how life is supposed to work. Mainly I want to write something that will make a difference in someone else’s life, although I’m not sure that anything I have to say will have that kind of power. Really, I’m not sure I’m all that wise, or all that good with words. And anyway, in the end it comes down to whether or not you are willing to act on what you learn. So if something I write helps you realize something new, please promise me you’ll act on it.

So I have an old blog that I meant to share with people and then forgot about and now can’t remember the email address I made to go with it and can’t figure out how to find that out from the blog and even if I could, I wouldn’t remember the password. But I had already written a couple of posts for it that I think are pretty good, so my first few posts will be from there. To start with, here’s the intro:

Welcome to my blog! I suppose I should start with an introduction.

The main thing you should know about me is that I believe in Christ. I believe that he atoned for my sins, that he loves me perfectly, and that through his Atonement I can find healing. Having his love in my life brings me peace and makes me whole. It can do the same for you.

Other than that: I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (otherwise known as Mormons), I am currently a college student living away from home, I love hiking, writing, laughing, playing piano, making snarky comments, learning, and growing.


I also have several challenges. I am living away from home with roommates, taking classes, and providing for myself. I deal with all the stresses of college life and, like everyone else, regularly have other trials that come along.

The purpose of this blog is to use my challenges and the lessons I learn from them to bring others to Christ. If my words touch you in any way, I would love to hear about it. Heck, even if my words don't touch you I'd still love to hear from you. Constructive criticism is always welcome (the key word there being constructive). So, welcome to my blog, and I hope you enjoy it.